The Changeling (For MTW)

(A single spot comes up on a young woman)

WOMAN

Change?  You want me to change?  Like it’s a decision...like it’s a choice.  Fine...I’ve decided that I am 5’6”...(looks down)...hmmm, doesn’t seen to have worked.  Maybe when I sleep, then...Oh, and while I’m at it...I’ve decided to change my eyes to green...and not with contacts.  If change is as easy as making a choice, then it should work, right?  What else can I do?  Want it really badly?  Well, I do...What if I don’t change?  What if I stay the same?  Will you still love me?  When I was younger I would lie in bed, silently crying...praying for God to change me...”please, God, make me straight”...I wanted it more than anything in the world...but He didn’t...If God answers prayers...why didn’t He answer mine?  It took some time, but now I know that I’m the way God intended me to be...you used to tell me that God doesn’t make mistakes...but you won’t accept me for who and what I am.  Changing my sexuality is about as easy changing my height...I can pray...I can ask God...I can want it so badly it hurts...but I can’t change it...and neither can you.  So, you can accept me...and love me...and hold me when I cry...or you can’t.  You can continue to ask me to change, you can withhold love, you can keep everyone from me...and you can end up hurting yourself...missing out on me and my life.  I’m standing here...asking you to change...to make a choice: Either love me for who I am or walk away.  But before you go, I want you to know this: I would never choose to be hated...to be persecuted...to be killed...to be a joke...to lose you.  But if I had to do it again...yes, I would.  Because I can’t change who I am...but if I can change one mind, then I’ve done my job...

(As lights FADE to BLACK SFX: walking away)

(BLACKOUT)

END

 

Write...Right?

Who needs inspiration?

You just put pen to paper, right?

Write...right...write

Something real...write

Write...right...write

Something honest...write

Write...right...write

Something true...write

Write...right...write

Anything...just write

Write what's right

Damaged

(Single spot up on a Woman)

WOMAN

His eyes were unlike anyone else’s that I’d ever seen. They could cloud over in an instant and he wouldn’t be the person you thought he was. He told me that he had this purpose. He didn’t quite know what it was...but he knew it was there. And I knew it was there, in his eyes, I could see it but I couldn’t make it out. There was something dark about him and it drew me in. Something almost dangerous...sexy. I would sit next to him while he slept and just look at him, trying to figure out who was in my bed. I knew that behind those volatile eyes there was something more. Something trying to communicate with me. At the time I thought it was a wounded child, abandoned by his father, raised by a sick grandfather, only to be left to grow up too quickly at such a young age. My friends told me that it wasn’t my job to save him. They’d say that I was too good for him...and I knew they were right. But there was this...I don’t know...this longing in his eyes, that kept drawing me back. I tried...time and time again...to save him from his life...from himself...I knew I wasn’t the one who could do it, but how could I not try? Then one night, he calls drunk. No, not drunk...completely wasted...I was unable to make out his words. It was pouring outside...and he was crying. I didn’t know what to do. It was almost as if my child had been hurt. My heart was breaking for him...so I told him to come over and go to sleep, knowing the entire time that this was only going to end badly. When he got to the house, he was drenched...he looked small...weak...damaged...like a child. He curled up on my bed...and cried. Then he sat up...filled with rage...his mood changed as quickly as the wind. He grabbed my nightstand and threw it against the wall. He smashed my room as I sat there in awe...unable to breathe or move for fear that he would remember that I was there. Then he turned...his gorgeous eyes, dark and full of hate...he looked right at me...there was nothing I could do. Never once in my life had a man raised a hand to me...until this moment. The next thing I remember the cops are coming in...arresting him...and taking me to the hospital. I left the next day...battered...bruised...and with a broken arm...I’ve healed...but I’ve never forgotten. I am a woman...and I am strong...and I will never...never...allow this to happen again. I couldn’t save him... But I will be damned if I let my son grow up to become his father...

(As lights FADE to BLACK)

YOUNG BOY VOICE OVER

Mommy, I need you.

(BLACKOUT)

END

The Driver

(Single spot up on a woman dressed in prison orange) 

WOMAN

Sand in an hour glass moves slowly, making one think that time is slow.  But in life, time moves against you, it’s fast and you never seem to have enough time to do what’s important.  On death row, time moves like sand through an hour glass.  You go from meal to meal, wondering if the next is going to be your last.  One mistake ages ago, can put you away.  Although, my mistake was huge.  I was drunk, I was driving, and I killed an entire family.  It was already life in prison...but I already had three prior convictions on my record.  All three reckless endangerment with a vehicle.  This time, it was late.  I had been fighting with my husband.  I had decided that I was going to commit suicide.  I was driving to the bridge, and stopped to get more vodka.  This was my second bottle, and I knew it was going to be a long night.  I knew the guy behind the counter, and he knew I was drunk.  He shouldn’t have sold me the bottle, and he’s told me so since.  But he did, and I drove.  I drank my second bottle of vodka, and contemplated life after death.  I wonder how much it was going to hurt to jump from the bridge, how much pain my husband and family would feel.  I stopped paying attention to the road.  In fact, I forgot I was driving all together.  I felt more like I was on a ride at an amusement park than driving my own car.  Then it hit me.  Hard, solid, crunching, metal on metal.  Then the screams and the heat from the flames woke me.  I knew something wasn’t right, but I still wasn’t totally conscience.  I was sober for the first time in months.  You know that accidental sober, like when you where 16 or 17 and had to go home after a night of partying, and your parents were waiting up.  You sober up instantly.  No one would ever know that you had been drinking, except for the awful smell of your breath and clothes.  I fought my way out of my car, but it was too late.  The other car exploded, and I was conscience.  I knew what was happening.  I screamed at the gods.  I wanted to die, not to kill someone else.  As the sirens grew closer, I knew what I had to do.  I stood on the edge of the bridge and looked down at the concrete below.  I thought ‘one, two, three jump.’ Like you did as a kid, to help build the courage to do something, but I couldn’t jump.  My legs wouldn’t work.  So I stood there, a failed mother, wife, and daughter.  I waited for the cops, and in those next few seconds I knew that I had not only ruined my life but I had ruined the lives of those around me.  I knew nothing would be the same and that the gods would not allow me the easy way out.  I would have to live to feel the pain of what I had done.  I had to repent, and serve my time.  Now I sit here while time drips by and I wonder what happened to the days when I was happy and sober and free.  The times before I knew what vodka tasted like.

                        (As lights FADE to BLACK)

MALE VOICE OVER

Lights out!

                        (BLACKOUT)

END

Monotomy

Day in, day out

It's all the same.

Wake up, wash up

Work, sleep.

Day in, day out

It's all the same.

Wake up, wash up

Work, sleep.

Day in, day out

It's all the same.

Wake up, wash up

Work, sleep.

Day in, day out

It's all the same.

Breaking the cycle.

Slowly letting chaos in.

Never being satisfied.

Happily living life.

No longer surviving it.

The Living

(A single spot light comes up on a woman)

WOMAN

I awoke this morning, from a dream that I had lost my best friend, my love. I noticed my tear stained sheets, felt my puffy eyes. I looked at the clock beside my bed...5pm, shit! Jonathan will be home soon. How did I sleep all day? I must be sick...but I feel fine...I run to the bathroom and shower quickly, then dry my hair. 5:30. Any minute he'll be home. I throw on some makeup to cover my still puffy eyes. I find some clothes, and head towards the kitchen to start dinner. But I hear something...someone talking in the living room. I would almost swear it's my mother. The words are too muffled for me to understand what she's saying, but I have a feeling she's talking about me. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. Jonathan. The wreck. The ambulance. The hospital. Everything. I remember everything. I collapse in the hall. My mother tries to comfort me, and puts me back in bed. Everyday the dream is different. Sometimes I dream about the end, and others the beginning. But the result is always the same. The lack of knowledge, the over-whelming hope that it was all a dream. That Jonathan is coming back, that it's all ok. I look for him, I want to tell him about the dream. I want him to hold me and promise me forever...forever...tell me he isn't going anywhere...instead I eventually realize the truth...that he isn't here. That he isn't coming back. That I am alone. Jonathan has been gone for 5 years now. And the dreams have faded, but they are still here. For me the worst part of losing him is that part of my brain that holds on and says that he is still with me, that nothing has changed. There is a new pain with the daily realizations. And a longing for these dreams...this punishment...to stop. But when they started to dwindle, all I am left with is an emptiness...My mind starts hoping to dream once again of my Jonathan and to be left to the realization that he isn't here. The searching is gone. I long for that fresh pain because it reminded me that everything was and is real. So...here I am...drifting...and I think about Jonathan less and less...I've become numb to the fresh pain of my past...the dull pounding of one heart searching for another...gone...subdued. I won't ever forget it...I just don't need it to remind me that I am alive anymore. I...I just know. And I'm going to deal with this...until I can be reunited with Jonathan.

(LIGHTS FADE as

MALE VOICE OVER

Babe...come with me.

(BLACK OUT)

END

The Ticking

(Spot light on a woman)

WOMAN

It's weird, I've never wanted to have children...Ok, once I wanted a child. I saw my ex holding our newborn nephew, and I don’t know...he had this look in his eyes…like he knew the meaning of life and it was in his arms. When I held the baby, I didn’t get that at all. But that’s the moment I knew I had to give him children. I made up my mind to do it although I never got the chance. Looking back, I've been glad that things ended without bringing offspring into it. It's been seven years since I saw that look and longed to give him what he wanted most. Other than that, there hasn't been a day that I have thought "I want kids." I started thinking that, maybe I was born without a biological clock, ticking away making me baby crazed. Maybe this is the next step in the evolutionary chain...no more ticking. And then it happens. I'm walking to the train in the bustling Chicago metropolis and it hits me: I have to have children! I can’t let my father not be a grandfather. So, here I am 27, blissfully single, trying to make it in the big bad world. And now I want a child? I have this rush of questions. What is it like to live for another person? Am I capable of giving every part of me to someone else? How does it feel to love someone so much? I don’t know that I’m ready for that…so for now it’s a maybe…maybe I want children…maybe I don’t…maybe…but I don’t know. I think there are too many “maybes” in this equation. So, for now, I’ll just buy a puppy and hit snooze on the alarm that just went off and see where this life takes me. Who knows, one day it could happen, but for now I’ll be satisfied with what I have.

(As lights fade to black, sound effects of children laughing and playing.)

END